There is a cemetery in Counce, Tennessee ( Hardin county) on the banks of the Tennessee River. It's a place that three states touch each other - Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. My interest in family stories and history began there when my grandmother, Drue, would take us to the place she grew up. Sometimes we would visit White Sulphur Cemetery. She would take us to see the final resting place of many of the people she had told us about. "You are probably related to just about everyone who is buried here" she would tell us.
One of the oldest stones there is Drusilla Stout ( photo to the right). She was my grandmother's grandmother and we both have her name. My middle name is Drue. I've always loved the name. It's so old fashioned and southern.
Drucilla's stone is also one of the most haunting looking stones in the cemetery. It just feels so OLD and mysterious. It sits on the edge of the cemetery, with the newer stones in the central areas... almost like it's receding out to a time we can't see.
When I asked, my grandmother told me that Drusilla was the mother of "Grandma McKinney" ( Martha Elizabeth Sanders) and her two sisters, Eliza and Josephine. She had been married to an unknown Sanders and they thought her maiden name was White. My grandmother had also been told stories about the hard life she had, marrying very young, becoming a widow, then marrying an Andrew Stout. He was a mean man, who abused his family. My grandmother did not romanticize anything. She had no tolerance for cruelty so she did not give even the dead a pass on that.
Grandma McKinney married William Hugh McKinney, who my grandmother adored. She told me that he was a delightful, funny man who made his family happy.
I've tried to push past the history on this stone to the right for a long time now. With census and records research, but I never really knew Drusilla's origins or family. I kept looking at all the White family records. I did discover that she always stated that she was born in Kentucky and her parents were born in Kentucky. Sometimes after a few decades people would just say they came from the state they lived in, but she stuck to Kentucky ( which helped me to finally figure it out)
I found her as a young widow in the 1870 census ( living with her Sanders daughters and a Solomon McKee, age 16 farm hand ) and I found her in the 1880 living with her mean new husband, Andrew Stout. I found her as widow to Stout in the 1900 and then as the widowed mother in law, living with Martha and William McKinney. But I couldn't seem to find her earlier, with parents.
It turns out that I was just not seeing what was in front of me, because I was sure she belonged to the White family. Sometimes "facts" get in the way of the truth. So I finally tracked down Grandma McKinney's death certificate. It stated her father was a George Sanders and her mother was "Drew McKee". I had found a Drusilla McKee in the 1850 census of Hardin county, the right age, and everyone had been born in Kentucky. They lived in the same area as the Sanders family. I had dismissed it because in my mind I was looking for Drucilla White. It turns out there was a kernel of truth there. Drusilla's mother was Martha White, her father was Thomas McGee. They had all come to Hardin county in the mid 1840's from Whitley county, Kentucky.
So now Drusilla has a complete history, I was able to push back the wall of time a little more and give her a childhood and even grandparents. I still think her stone is old and lovely. It turns out that George Sanders was an old man, born in 1801 who married the 19 year old Drusilla after his first wife died. She had been in their house ( as a helper?) in the 1860 census. The "Solomon McKee" who was living with Drusilla in the 1870 must have been a brother ( another clue right in front of me that I didn't see). So I have more of a sense of who she was and how she lived. It's a satisfying feeling, even though I know there will be more mysteries... It's probably what makes this research so addictive and interesting in the first place.
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Mysteries take time
More family clones
When my aunt Nellie gave me the amazing photo of Drusilla McKee, she also gave me an old photo of my grandmother, Drue McKinney at the age of 15 or 16. I had never seen her in a photo as a teenager, only as a baby or older adult. This was one of the fuzzy "postcard" photos that were popular in the early part of the century. It was taken in 1926, when she came to live with her grandmother McKinney. What is so striking about the photo is how much she looks like my younger sister, Melinda in the photo. Even my sister agrees that it is her face on the photo. Photo on the left is my grandmother at 15, photo on right is Melinda at about 8. |
Drusilla has a face
Drusilla McKee was my grandmother's great grandmother. She was born in 1842 and died in 1912. She was in her 20s during the Civil War and outlived 2 husbands and raised three daughters. My grandmother, Drue was named after her and I was given her name as my middle name. But I never had any physical, visual image of her. I had only seen her headstone ( very old and fading) and heard a few stories about her. Until last week.... |
An old pair of "genes"
Sorry for the pun. I hate puns, but this one was hard to pass on.. It's amazing to me as I look at old photos of family... to see my eyes staring back at me sometimes. My mother and I have the same eyes. I have the exact same body type as my grandmother. My gr grandmother looks just like my mother... it happens again and again. My sister Becky's son, Robbie, ( to me ) looks just like my father in his picture. ( second from left in header photo above - he was 15 in this picture. Compare the two below. My father never had the chance to meet Robbie, he died before he was born. But Robbie sees my father when he looks in his mirror, whether he realizes it or not. The funny thing is.. Robbie also looks just like his father and paternal grandfather... completely different genes. So we really are where and who we come from.. literally and physically. |
Making a tree available
My own progam of choice, that I have been using for over ten years now, is called "Geditcom", by John Nairn. At the time I was starting back in 1999 there were very few programs for genealogy that would work on a Macintosh. I found "Geditcom", learned to use it, and loved it. I still do. John has kept it up to date and keeps adding great new features. He has also kept the price low, ($19.00) so many can afford to use it. After creating the family tree file in the program, you can export the special file mentioned above, ( .ged ) This can then be used by most good genealogy programs, both on a computer and online. The file is a standard for genealogy. I have chosen to add my .ged files and family trees to one of the oldest and still free websites dedicated to family research. Rootsweb, although it is now owned by Ancestry.com, you can still use it and view it for free. So if I put the family trees there, I can provide a link for viewing that family and others don't have to sign up or join to see. I hope they can continue this site! Other sites may offer more "bells and whistles", but I don't need them really, when you can have a freely available tree to visitors... that's priceless! |
New Look
After many years, my family history site is getting a facelift. I am re doing it with "Google Sites" - for many reasons.
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